We all hope for a year full of happenings where we can always look back and consider as a success. I may have started this year with so much fear knowing that I am stepping into the age of 30, without seeing most of my plans happening. But little did I know how significant my 2018 is about to be. I have imagined this milestone in a total different way. There were things I didn’t expect happening but God has his ways of making up for the sacrifices and turning them to surprises in the most beautiful way.
One of the things I’m grateful for this year is my trip to Israel. It was a moment of heaven kissing earth. It was an encouter of God’s love first hand, invited to be His bride. I’ve never felt closer to His majestic presence as I was in His promise land.
It was a trip that changed the course of my life, which led me choosing to have another year spent in His church full-time. This is one of the main reasons why I chose to go to Internship in Hillsong this year.
It wasn’t an easy decision to make, knowing I have to set aside my opportunity of having a full-time job and security for my future. There were so many challenges along the way. My faith was tested even to the point of going through depression. I’ve gone face to face with my wilderness two months ago, considering it as the lowest point in my life. It was a battle from within where the enemy tried to break me apart. I couldn’t recognize myself, not understanding what was going on within me and all I wanted to do was to give up. I decided to go away from church for weeks, not knowing if I’ll ever get back on track again. I have reached my limits to the point that I was tired of singing, serving and even smiling.
In those darkest moments, the only cry of my heart was that God would give me another reason to trust Him and that He would restore the things that were taken away from me–my joy, peace and hope. God, being the faithful Father He’s ever been, kept imparting into my heart how close I am to my breakthrough. He reminded me of how Jesus had to go through to His wilderness as He was about to set foot to His greatest calling. At that point, I realized that He was doing the same within me. He wanted to ensure that I am strong enough to handle whatever is about to come. He was preparing me for something great. He’s plan was to use my wilderness to lead me to my pasture.
God heard my prayer by bringing the right people to help me get back up. He spoke promises into my life with clear impression of what He intended to do. His voice became even clearer than before that I had the courage to trust Him back.
One of the verses God gave me was John 16:21-23:
“When a woman gives birth, she has a hard time, there’s no getting around it. But when the baby is born, there is joy in the birth. This new life in the world wipes out memory of the pain. The sadness you have right now is similar to that pain, but the coming joy is also similar. When I see you again, you’ll be full of joy, and it will be a joy no one can rob from you. You’ll no longer be so full of questions.”
Little by little, He made sure that I am aware of every single miracle He has been planning to do in my life. He surely turned my ashes into beauty. After all the pain I have been through, He has blessed me with my greatest desires. He has restored joy over my life in ways I couldn’t even put into words. He gave me the assurance from Song of Songs 2, declaring that my barren winter has ended:
11The season has changed,
the bondage of your barren winter has ended,
and the season of hiding is over and gone.
The rains have soaked the earth[n]
12 and left it bright with blossoming flowers.
This year may have been such a crazy ride but God didn’t want it to end without restoring my life more than I have ever imagined. He has put an end to my barren winter by blessing me more than I deserve.
If God was able to do it for me, I’m believing the same for you. Sometimes, He’s just waiting on us to take one step further to finish our race strong and everything He has promised us will take place. Don’t let anything keep you from experiencing His greatest miracles by giving up in the most difficult time. All will go well in time–we just need to trust God on His plans. It may be a rough start but in the end, it makes it worth the fight.
Sincerely,
Abby Bern
Abby Bern 
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