Have you ever been invited to go on a legit date?
Thinking about this question makes me giggle. It even took me awhile to finish this chapter because I realized that I haven’t been into any legit dates. Even though I’ve been in few relationships in the past (silly ones to be honest), I haven’t been able to dress up for a fancy date at a restaurant nor I have been to a theme park with someone I’d be happy to spend hours of fun with. I haven’t had this kind of ideal dates where I’d be fetched from home, have a guy greet my parents a nice evening and promise to take me back before midnight. It sucks isn’t?
Well, you can say my past relationships were such failures that I missed out on being treated like a real princess. This is the reason why I decided to wait for God’s best 5 years after my last breakup. Don’t feel sad about me. Life happens and I have accepted the fact that I have to go through all those mishaps for me to be as strong and intact as I am now. Thank God for keeping me safe from all of those heartbreaks.
So Dating… How’d you feel or what will you do if the person you like asks you out on a date? Let me guess? First, you’ll say yes of course, and then you’ll call on your friends and ask what you to wear? Or you’ll just go straight to the mall, panic and buy what you’d wear?!
Sorry guys, we’d dress to impress so that you’d know how much we want to be treated well. This gives you all the reason to better compliment us when you take us out on dates. Never ever forget to say how pretty or amazing we are or else you just lost a score. Also, avoid telling a girl how fat she is so that you she’ll order the smallest meal for you to save money during your date. I’d be violent on you if you do that. So be very Careful….
Okay, so much for being too scary and demanding… Let’s go back to Ruth & Boaz.
Ruth was invited by Boaz to eat with him.
Food is the Key
At mealtime Boaz called to her, “Come over here, and help yourself to some food. You can dip your bread in the sour wine.” So she sat with his harvesters, and Boaz gave her some roasted grain to eat. She ate all she wanted and still had some left over.
Ruth 2:14
Who would resist a good meal? As to Ruth, when she was invited to eat with Boaz, she ate everything she could without shilly-shallying! She wasn’t trying to show off, pretending that she only eats few to stay slim. Ruth was true to herself in the eyes of Boaz. Ladies, learn from Ruth. Eat all you can! Stop your pretentious act and be true to yourself. Besides, if the guy really likes you, he’d accept the fact that he’ll need to spend much more to keep you nourished.
Stage 10: The “Invitation” Stage – God will cause this individual to invite you for an amazing time out on a date. He will cause for you to know this person more and discover things amazing or not that you will get to love and appreciate. Starting off as friends will give you a better edge to enjoy the moment without awkwardness.
This is a season where God allows you to enjoy each other’s company. But remember that as you go out on dates, set boundaries so that you may refrain from anything that causes you to fall into temptation. Remember that our goal is to establish a relationship that will last and that is not based on lust.
So whenever you are asked out on a date, think to yourself if what you plan to do together is healthy both spiritually and emotionally. This is your chance to get to know the person more and attest if you want to spend the rest of your life with him. Take it easy and never in a hurry.
Guys, never hesitate to ask a girl out. Maybe she’s just waiting for you to say the magic word “Do you want to hangout?”. Girls won’t usually initiate first so you ought to try and take the first move. Have the courage to approach her and say it already so that you won’t have regrets. Please don’t take forever to actually do it.
Dance Slowly
On the other hand, once you’ve both started dating, let the journey be like a slow dance that you get a chance to talk and savor each moment instead of rushing.
Ladies, hold on to your self-respect. Never go all the way to a guy who hasn’t placed a ring on your finger. He can leave you anytime he gets what he wanted because he’s not yet committed wholly to you. It’s not worth your decency and conscience. If you’ve already done it with someone and you think it’s too late to take your dignity back. Do know that God has made you righteous in Christ Jesus. Believe that He has made you whole and pure again just as if you weren’t stained. You still have a chance to make things right by not letting the next guy that will pop-up in your life take advantage of you. Know your worth and don’t let the enemy fool you. You deserve to be treated well despite your past because you are the child of the living God.
Men, you’re respect of women is greatly appreciated. No matter how hard a girl would try to throw herself at you, resist it… or better yet RUN away from it! That’s the best thing you can do to maintain a deferential life. You are made to protect and not to demean. Your main purpose is to lead with strength and dignity towards godliness. And a great leader prioritizes the wellbeing of others.
Dating is not designed to unclothe each other but it is made to know each other in a way you would learn how to respect, genuinely love and show care without being physically involve. God blesses relationships that practices self-control, discipline, respect, obedience, and love. If you think this is so difficult to accomplish, seek for the wisdom and help from the Holy Spirit who is in you. He is your counselor, wisdom, guidance, and peace who will tell you the right thing to do in the midst of your battle. Even if it feels like you’re as slow as the tune of Nora Jones’s songs in terms of your relationship, it is way better than being in a hurry and be hurt in the end. I’d rather be sure than to be sorry.
Remember you’re worth waiting and marrying for. The right person will respect your decision and will not force you do anything that is against your will. I pray that the Lord Jesus will guide you in your relationship and give you wisdom in every decision you are to make. There’s so much more to expect in a relationship than dating itself. The journey doesn’t end here.
Sincerely,
Abby Bern 
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