Abby Bern

Last year, I had a blog entitled “In a Macho’s Point of View” where I tackled about how men would know when they have found the One and their own standards. It’s interesting how they have different ways of coming into realization that they’ve finally met the right girl. I was given the opportunity to see attraction in the eyes of men.

Click link to read: “In a Macho’s Point of View”

https://abbybern.com/2015/01/25/in-a-machos-point-of-view/

As a continuation to it, I want to relive that topic, and understand it not just in men’s perspective but discover more through the eyes of a woman.

Having lady friends who are mostly single made me wonder if they too had the same thoughts I have been pondering about. Recently, we had a session at church where we were told to think of questions, silly or not, life queries that we can ask God without any hesitations. To my surprise, one of them asked the same questions I have been keeping in my mind for a very long time “Will I ever get married?”, “When and to whom will I be married?” I was stunned that I’m not the only person who asks God about these absurd matters. This only proves that I am not alone.

Every single being longs to know about their future and with whom they’ll spend it with. I know we have other things to be concerned about, but to be honest, most of us can’t help but be anxious whether or not there is someone waiting for us at the end of the isle. For most women, it would be really dreadful ending up forever alone.

So to all the single ladies, I have a treat for you. I’ve interviewed some of my female friends who have finally found the One. Hearing their stories and insights encouraged me during this season of my single life. I hope, upon seeing love In Eve’s Point of View, you will be inspired to look at life with trust and full of hope, expecting God has the best one in store.

Eve No. 1: “I feel comfortable whenever I’m around him”

This woman started her forever with the guy he loves when they were high school sweethearts. After years that have passed, they are now married with one handsome kid. Some would say “it’s puppy love” but it was their friendship in high school that made them realize that they can conquer the world as they grow old together. Hear what she has to say:

“I knew He’s the one because whenever I’m around him, I feel comfortable. I can be myself in front of him. He doesn’t care if I don’t have makeup or if I eat like a man. He doesn’t see me less if I’m mad or crying. I can be who I am. I can act around him the same way I act around my close friends and family. It doesn’t bother him. I can let him see me vulnerable, afraid and hurt. You know he’s the one when he can accept you for who you are without anything that holds him back. He just loves you wholeheartedly.”

Eve No. 2: “I Almost thought I won’t get Married”

This friend of mine is about to be married to the man who’s been around her life for years. She only realized that He’s the One when the right time came.

Read her wonderful journey:

“When you’re single, you’d always hear people say ‘Don’t rush! He’ll just turn up’ or ‘Don’t’ worry, you’ll just know when he’s the one’. But the biggest question in my single life was ‘When do you really know he’s the one?’ 

I happen to come across this feeling, believe it or not, right there and then that I’ve felt I met the right one.

I’ve gone through 2 long-term relationships, both emotionally exhausting and frustrating, where I was so young and stupid enough to make the right decisions. Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad I’ve undergone that season in my life ‘cause now I can say that the best teacher is my experiences in life. 

So going back to the one, there was a point in my life where I assumed every guy I’d meet will be the one. I became very ideal, I was so dreamy and unrealistic that I got myself hurt big time. I got so tired that I had to question myself as to why do I keep basing my happiness in pursuing a relationship with someone else…. why can’t I just be happy with myself. 

As a wakeup call, I turned to God, and used my family and friends as my inspiration. I became so blessed with a job in which He turned into a good career. Piece by piece, I felt contentment in where I am and I was enjoying myself freely and wholly in which caused people to wonder if I needed someone to share it with. But I didn’t care whether I had someone beside me or not, I just know God will provide when the right time comes.

I decided to keep praying and telling God that I offer myself to Him, thankful for all the gifts He has blessed my life with. I trusted Him that in His own time, at the right moment, He has prepared me and will lead me to that person I can share everything with.

So there was this guy at work. We might be in the same company but to tell you the truth, it was only on my 3rd year that I have seen and met him. We would say “Hi” as we pass by each other but it was only when a common friend of ours had a wedding that we were both invited and formally introduced to each other. I didn’t realize that God has an amazing plan for us until that moment I surrendered everything to His will. He opened my eyes and made me see this person as a potential partner. We became close and all of a sudden people around us are starting to tease us.

And then one Sunday came where we decided to go to church together. It was our first month of dating and God literally made me feel that the guy I was holding hands with is His destiny for me. We were both smiling at each other when I suddenly felt God whispered to my heart, “My child, I want to bless you. You have finally found him.” There was no explanation, no words, and no fireworks in the sky. I realized that tears of joy are flowing in my eyes. I can truly say my heart is full.

It was one of those feelings that I’d never forget. The calmness, serenity, the blessedness of that moment is way beyond what I’ve prayed for. I can’t believe how blessed I am to have my desires granted. They say Love Moves in Mysterious ways and so does God! Only if you keep on believing, trusting and praying that whatever your heart’s desire is, only God can provide it in the most beautiful and unimaginable way.”

Eve No. 3: “You know He’s the One when there’s no Backing Out.”

This lady had a relationship with a guy she thought she’d marry but ended up breaking her heart. It took a while for her to move on but the moment she met her Mr. Right, all have vanished. They started as friends, and ended up liking each other to the point that the guy would go with her to church. She prayed that the Lord will show her that this is the guy He has for her. She got to a point where she got a fever that she couldn’t make it to church. Despite her situation, the guy kept going to church even if she wasn’t around. God made here realized that this guy is really serious… that He something in store for their future together. This is what she had to say when she knew He’s the one:

“I must say, I knew He’s the one when we decided to start a relationship that will end up in marriage and see ourselves having a blessed family together. I remember when he asked me before, if I’m really certain about having a relationship with him because if I am, there is no way of him backing out. He will not be letting go of me and will never give up on us. And for six years of being together, and happily married, He has proven his word and not a single day did he ever back out.”

Eve No. 4: “I was Surprised God answered almost all my Guy Standards”

This is a story about a close friend of mine who had her own checklists and came to her surprise that God led her to the guy that met almost all of it.

Read along and you might be able to relate:

“Here’s my personal ‘Checklist’ that I made when God has confirmed to me that I’m finally ready to enter the relationship that He intended for me to have, the one that lasts, the one that has ‘forever’:

• A man of God who has a genuine relationship with God. This should be on my top priority. Having Christ in the center of my relationship matters the most.
• A man who has Blessings from my Parents. ‘Honoring your parents as God commanded us’ is very significant for me. This is where blessings flow up to your future generations.
• A man who loves his family. This shows how he handles relationship, starting with the first and basic relationship he has.
• A man who will treat me as God wants His princess to be treated. He should know my worth in the eyes of the Lord and he should know how to act on it. He should also know how to make me feel like I’m his Ms. Universe.
• A man willing to be at the same place with me. OFW here! LDR succeeds if you’re both willing to make it work and if you ask God to help you. But still, to be physically present is so much better for the both of us, especially for the foundation of our relationship.
• Goal-oriented/ Career driven/ Hardworking/ Responsible. I’m talking about our future together here, ladies. He should have goals for himself and for the both of us. And of course objectives to achieve those goals
• A man who can handle his finances well… Cos I could really need some help here. 
• Mature Mentally and Emotionally. I need a ‘man’ not a boy
• Patient and Understanding. Every girl needs this! I swear! 
• Has Good Sense of Humor, someone who can make me laugh out loud… someone who can turn my bad day to a joyful one by literally being a crazy clown himself.
• Physically fit. Someone who’s willing to run miles with me  while holding my hands, ride on a bike together, go to the gym with and prepare healthy snacks so we can live longer together. Yay!
• Adventurous. Someone who loves outdoors, who’s willing to hike mountains, do caving, island hopping, do snorkeling and diving, even sky diving or just seat on the sea shore just to watch the sunset with me. Someone who would love to travel with me around the world (Paris on top of the list)

Sounds impossible? Not with God! I made this so personal and specific. And believe me, God answers as long as it’s according to His will. 

We’ve been friends for 9 yrs, he’s one of my closest guy friends since college. This guy would communicate with me from time to time but since we’re very close friends it didn’t get to me that it’s possible for us to be ‘together’ and so I have happened to entertain some other guy as years went by. I got pre-occupied by someone else that made me so blind not to see how this guy has just been there all these years. But when God’s perfect time came, I’ve been stunned how He made this pure friendship into a beautiful love story, how He made both of us fall in love with each other completely. Indeed, God just not gave the man of my dreams, He gave me ‘The One’.

Finally, I knew ‘He’s the One’, when God gave me peace, His peace that transcends all understanding. And it all made sense, ‘cause yeah, may forever!”

Eve No. 5: “God just know how to save you from the wrong one”

This woman has been protected by God from her first ruinous relationship and finally led her to the partner who admires her for her beauty and strength. They are now married for more than 10years and have a beautiful family together.  This is what she has to say:

“I know that God protects us from experiencing horrible love stories. I think He had these plan saying “I’d rather  let you wait for the Guy who is destined to be with you, than to have many guys that will just crush your self-worth. While you’re waiting, I will see to it that you are loved by Me, Your God Abba Father, your parents, and friends. You will have the wisdom to accomplish the desires of your heart”.  

He will ensure to save us from getting hurt, wasting our precious time with someone, rather than building up our own self. We are being preserved until that time you will meet the guy what God has reserved for you. You will just know that He is the one until you met him!”

All of their stories are so inspiring. It is a great reminder for us to never lose hope but to keep our faith in Christ Jesus and His finished work at the cross. If he was able to endure all his sufferings and gave his life for us, how much more will he be willing to give us a better future? Do know that He has the best interest for your life. Hold on to His promises of a great future of not being harmed but having a prosperous one. You may be struggling or questioning your circumstances but never fail to believe that He is working behind the scene. He has the One in the palm of His hands. And when you’re ready, He will lead you to him.

What’s my story?

I wish I can tell you my story any time sooner but I know God is still working behind the scenes. I’m in the process of waiting when and for whom. I have this inner calmness that there’s no need to worry or rush things as it will all fall into its perfect place. I may have so many questions as to why God allowed something to take place in my life and why I needed to wait this long. But one thing’s for sure, He has already set apart that certain person for me, the same way He is doing it for you. Know that He is just preparing us for a greater purpose.

You will know if he’s the one when you have that inner peace within you… when you can’t picture yourself with someone else but with just that specific person. God will give you joy and will make you pray for that specific guy/girl. He’ll give you chances to meet (intentionally or not), and you’ll get opportunities to know that person really well. You get to grow in the Lord together and every little thing is going to work out even if some tries to hinder it. It may not happen on your time line, but God has His better schedule not to ruin His master plan.

I do believe that no matter where I am, where I go, and how far I’ve gone, even if it takes years, I will always be directed to the same path the guy He has for me is taking.

Once God causes something to happen, even if circumstances try to hinder it or my attempts to run away, He’ll lead me towards it. Nothing can stop His plans even if I choose to give up. He will make sure it will all come to pass according to His purpose. All we need to do is to surrender and believe that He is up to something amazing for our life.

Sincerely,

Abby Bern