Abby Bern

Most ladies nowadays find it struggling to survive the stage where no guy tries to win their hearts. Some would do online dating or would simply go out for a drink just to inform the world that they are available. I myself have had those days where I questioned myself whether I’m attractive or not since no guy pays any interest on me or maybe because I’m just  too snob to notice. During this season of being single, God made me realize that I am not alone. Every man and woman had gone through this season before they actually met their partners in life.  So if you think you’re a loser for not being able to have someone by your side, shake off that thinking, instead focus on opportunities how to enjoy and prepare yourself before entering a married life.

Here are some of the things God taught me in the process of waiting:

1. Your Single Life is a Training Ground.

Before you enter a lifelong expedition with your Co-Captain, you need to know how to steer the boat. It’s scary and difficult to do something you don’t know. Remember there’s no turning back once you enter marriage. Therefore, while you are on your own, allow God to teach you:

• Spiritually (walking in God’s grace without depending on anyone but Him. Establishing a relationship with Jesus, dedicating your life and finding your calling in His Church),
• Emotionally (having a heart that is strong-willed and not easy to get hurt, jealous, and angry. Someone who is loving, thinking more of others and less of yourself),
• Physically (being able to do all the chores without complaints, learning how to cook and taking care of yourself in terms of health and style as you would want to present yourself to your future husband/wife attractively and fashionably), and
• Financially (career and fiscally wise, being self fulfilled that you have nothing to miss or regret about of not doing).

Think of it as a chance to be totally prepared for something eternal.

2. It’s an Opportunity to Know Yourself More.

It’s difficult to enter a relationship without knowing who you are, what you like or what you can accomplish. As some would say, “You won’t be able to give something you don’t have.” How can you extend love if you find yourself unlovable? How can you secure someone if you have so many insecurities? How can you accept love if all you have in your heart is hatred? It’s a matter of letting go and acceptance. Let go of all your insecurities and accept the fact that you are made for something more. God has his plans for you and you are beautifully made by His own hands. Pray that God would give you self confidence and that He may fill you with His love and security so that when the time comes, you’d be ready to love without anything holding you back.

3. Explore the World without Limitations.

There are things in life and places in this world that I’d always wanted to do and visit. I realized that if I’m given the chance to go to Malaysia as a married person, I would find it difficult to leave my hometown. I won’t be able to go places I have ever dreamed of. Some may find it selfish, but there are moments in your life that you would need to face and discover on your own. This helps you build characters and understand that there’s more this life can offer you. When you allow yourself to be on a quest, you get to know more people, learn other cultures, see beautiful places, eat amazing and exotic food, and create memories that you can bring along until your hair is gray. Now I know the reason why God has kept me single up to this time. I am able to travel and enjoy the things I have now. Travel until you can. It will give you fulfilment that you were able to go on an adventure and bravely explore the world on your own. Someday, this is a story you can brag to your future kids. I can testify that not a single season in my life has ever been wasted because I’ve waited for God’s perfect time.

4. Bless Your Parents and Be a Blessing to Others.

Once you enter marriage, your priorities change. You put your better half second to God. So while you are still single, let it be an opportunity for you to bless your parents. Of all people, they are the ones who deserve your love and care. Make them happy until you can. God blesses those who obey their parents and gives them long life (see Exodus 20:12). I myself can testify to that. If I have not been obedient to my parents, I won’t be where I am now. I saw how God blessed my life the moment I surrendered my own choices and decided to follow the wisdom of my parents. I am forever grateful I chose to listen to their guidance. And because of them, I am blessed. Therefore, while I still can, I want to bless them.

Also, extend your love to others that you won’t even realize someone will love you back. When you put others first, loving God’s people as you love Him, He is faithful enough to fill you with love that overflows. When you exercise selflessness, God will fill your heart and will lead you to the one he made in order to complete you as a being.

5. Pray that you will be the One your Future Partner is Praying for

I’ve learned along the way that the best weapon to ‘fear of the unknown’ is Prayer. Tap into the Holy Spirit who is in you, knowing that God is with you along the way. Remember that you are not alone in this Journey. You are called for a greater purpose that is way beyond marriage and being single. You are called to be God’s child. Rest assured that He is working behind the scene as you wait upon Him. He has the best intentions for your life. He will never fail to surprise you along the way. In the moment of waiting, Pray that you will be the Woman that your Future Husband would want to marry and take care of… Pray that you will be the Man whom your Future Wife will respect and see as a leader.

As James 5:13;16 says,

“13 Is anyone among you in trouble? Let them pray… 

16…The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.”

So if you are single and tired, don’t lose hope. God is on your side. He knows the plans He has for you. Enjoy your journey and never see yourself as a loser. Don’t let loneliness or the feeling of being alone attack you. Instead, stand in faith and embrace the Joy that comes from the Lord. Enjoy exploring the world. Meet people and make friends. Serve others as you honor God. Be a blessing and never lose hope. You are called for a greater calling.

Sincerely,

Abby Bern